Seattle Pride Hockey Association Helped Couple Rediscover the Love of the Game and Find the Love of Their Lives

The Seattle Pride Hockey Association (SPHA) has given Chris Lutton and Dean Pertner many things. 

Lutton has found opportunities for personal growth, taking on leadership roles and becoming more outgoing. Pertner rediscovered his love for hockey, having walked away from the sport after high school. They’ve found community, support and friendship.

And they found each other.

The two met and connected as part of a team from Seattle that traveled to play in a Pride hockey tournament in Calgary, Alberta, in March 2023. One year later, at the same Calgary tournament, Lutton proposed on the ice following one of their games.

The public proposal was an out-of-character move for Lutton, who doesn’t enjoy the spotlight and who said he was jaded and that he’d given up hope about love and marriage. But visibility is important to both men and being able to declare their love for one another on the ice, surrounded by friends in an environment that felt unimaginable for them as children was just too good to pass up.

One of the lasting memories from that moment, they said, was hearing everyone tap their sticks for them in celebration.

“The stick tapping is such a hockey thing,” Pertner said. “You usually hear it for a big play or a goal, but to hear that for us, in such a lovely moment, it doesn’t get better than that.”

Pertner said that beautiful moment wouldn’t even have been fathomable for himself at 15 as a closeted gay teenager who grew up playing hockey but left the sport because he lived in fear of saying or doing the wrong thing.

“When you’re young and gay and playing hockey, you feel like you’re the only one there,” Pertner said. “You’re worried, ‘Am I going to say something or do something that angers or upsets people?’ You’re always just really nervous, and you think that you’re the only gay hockey player in the world.

“If you’d have told me as a closeted kid, ‘You’re going to marry this really wonderful guy that you love so much. Oh, and he plays hockey, and you’re going to do it in front of a big crowd at a queer hockey tournament.’ That’s like five things in a row that I would have said ‘That’s impossible.’ For that to become reality just blows my mind. It’s incredible.”

Lutton, who had been outed in school, said the stress of feeling unsafe in locker rooms and on the ice led to him feeling constantly on edge and ultimately feeling burnt out by the sport.

Steven Thompson, The SPHA president, convinced Pertner to put on skates for the first time in 15 years to begin playing again. Lutton had played some adult rec hockey, but finding the SPHA was a revelation. Joining the league and playing in Pride tournaments across North America have been life-changing for both of them. 

Pertner called it an “aha moment” when he realized there were so many other gay people who love hockey, and SPHA had created a welcoming safe space for players of all ages and abilities to play.

“Playing in that very first Seattle Pride hockey tournament, it was life changing,” Lutton said. “I was like, ‘Oh, I can actually exhale and relax and just be myself without fear of any sort of negative attention coming my way as a result?’ 

“It really made me fall in love with hockey all over again.”

Now the couple spends much of their spare time skating with the league and traveling to play with other queer teams from across the United States and Canada. They have plans to play in Palm Springs, California, Chicago and of course, Calgary, in the coming months. While they do love the competition and the camaraderie and friendship of hockey, they also play because they feel like visibility is so important.

There are different levels of skill, but it’s loose and comfortable and everyone is smiling and laughing while music plays. 

Their weekly league games follow youth league games at the rink and Pertner thinks about how influential and impactful it would have been for him to see gay people just happily living their lives and playing hockey with Pride tape on their sticks. 

“Having Seattle Pride Hockey Association be so visible as the sport explodes here in the Northwest is making a really big difference,” Pertner said. “Having that visibility when I was younger would have made a world of difference. I wouldn’t have felt like such an outsider. Look how far we’ve come. I’m just immensely proud to be a part of the Seattle Pride Hockey Association.”

Visibility is a guiding principle for the couple. While they aren’t necessarily the most comfortable in the spotlight, they believe in being present and ensuring that other queer people — particularly younger people — get to have a different experience of welcoming and belonging than they did.

Lutton said they go out of their way to be visible, particularly in hockey spaces, because it was life-changing for them to see people being their authentic selves in the rink.

“I feel like I’m allowed to live the life I live because I was able to see people being out and living their happy, normal life,” Lutton said. “That’s something that everybody should have the ability to see. Having that safe space for LGBTQ+ hockey players in this area, it’s life- changing. If we can help someone just by being present in that space and that helps them in some way on their own journey, then mission accomplished.”

That they get to do that through hockey, which was so formative to both of them, makes it even better. They aren’t just making hockey a welcoming space but also helping to grow the game and introduce new people to the sport. As teenagers, they’d never have been able to imagine how important hockey would be to them as adults or how much their feelings — and the environment around hockey — would change.

“We’re pushing that rock up the hill, and every little thing we can do to increase visibility and make hockey more welcoming is incredibly important to me. Hockey is a sport I love, so it’s something that I will never stop doing,” Pertner said.

It’s about more than just inviting people to join the SPHA, Pertner said. He likened it to the difference between asking someone to dinner and actually bringing a friend to dinner and making sure they have a seat.

“Some of these people walk in and it’s their first time playing hockey, or it’s their first time playing hockey as their authentic selves, and they are scared,” he said. They’re terrified, even if they don’t show it. It can be really intimidating”

“We want to make sure everyone knows that they’re safe and supported, and this sport is for them, if they want to play it,” Lutton added. “They’ll always be welcomed by us. This organization is about being your true self and building each other up and being there for each other as a community.

“It’s about love and support and just being true to yourselves. You should be who you are, and you shouldn’t be ashamed or afraid of showing people who you really are, and then you can really shine and flourish as a human being.”

Story from Red Line Editorial, Inc.

Source: usahockey.com